Beauty

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. -John 15:4

2 days ago, I saw on TV that London is having an exhibition of almost all Da Vinci's paintings. Different country were sending in his works just so that all his works can be shown at the same time. There are so many fans of him and one of his fan looked so excited when being interviewed. From there, I found out that Da Vinci was an impatient man. Most of his works were unfinished but he was good at drawing woman, in detail of their expressions.

I guess the beauty behind all these, why do people admire Da Vinci and also many other painters weren't just about their arts, but is how all these brilliant minds can maneuver their hands to paint out such beautiful picture...how they turn a blank paper into something beautiful or more precisely, perhaps we envy of their ability to see something beautiful each time out of a blank paper.

There is a time where I once struggled on the word 'holy'. I always wonder what is this mean? What are the measurement or standard to define 'holy'? How shall we judge if a person is 'holy'? 'Holy' saints, why are they 'holy'?

I was lost. I didn't know how to live up to my Father's expectation. Not that I'm knowing that God doesn't expect out of us.

And so I trained myself. I woke up at 5 every morning to pray. I remained silent when people were arguing. I only listened to Christian music. I stopped watching any movie. I worked very hard on the study. I forced myself to bear with it when people tried to pick a fight. I prayed before I slept. I spent time on the Words.

I was actually satisfied with what I had done.

But deep down in myself, I know that I wasn't being me. I was forcing some behavioral change in myself in order to please God. Then I was tired, I collapsed only to find that this is just a temporal change.

There is a saying that goes, 'Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder.'

After reading the novel 'The Shack', I found an answer to my question.

God doesn't expect me. He knows me. He knows me well, that He doesn't have to expect me.

All of us is like the blank paper, where we see nothing outside but God sees a lot of beauty in us.

I agree to those who said God is the best painter. Because He sees us lovely and holy. Holy is not the requirement. It is already what He had seen in us.

I just have to be myself. Because I'm no more under the Law.

You may wonder, what if things fall apart?

I just need to have the trust in Him.

God doesn't want me to set up some hierarchy or pyramid and put Him on the top just like that.

He wants every piece of me, everyday.

I just hope I can see things like Him, not the outward appearance but the inner heart.

Our souls are like a garden, together with the Holy Spirit, we are working on the garden everyday.

I can't explain, I only know that it needs obedience, submission and most of all LOVE.

You will feel differently when you see the world with His gracious eyes:)

Words can never say the way He says my name
He calls me lovely
No one ever sees the way He looks at me
He sees me holy

-Sing My Love by Jesus Culture

P.s Romans 12 can be a good starting point.

Reality is ODD.

After all, real things are not simple. Reality is usually very odd. "It's not neat, not obvious, not what you expect...this is one of the reason why I believe Christianity. It is a religion you could not have guessed." -C.S LEWIS.

Last CF, our speaker Michael William talked about trinity. And he quoted Lewis just to tell us that reality is not simple, it cannot be made simple, one of the example is trinity. If we find trinity hard to understand, it doesn't mean it is not existing. And if we think we know God good enough, this is hilarious cuz a thing being created can never fully understand their Creator. No man can stand up and claim this is the God we believe in as described in his own human ways and thinks that they are right. Then, how shall we know who we believe in? Piece of cake. We look into the Bible. Because that's the Truth. But God is a lot more than that, He is too supreme and only those who seek Him with their hearts that God would reveal to them.

When I first heard this quote, I found it related to myself. I was so encouraged with this quote cuz when people were wondering why I failed my exam[even if myself], I couldn't find a word for it. But now this thing doesn't really bothering me anymore, cuz reality is odd, and I started to forgive those who misunderstand me cuz they didn't know the reality.

And through what I had experienced, I found that God taught me a very important lesson[of course, there are many lessons that come together during the time], He asked me not to judge. I felt sorry because sometimes I couldn't but to judge people. But now that I found everyone around could have been judging me for my failure without knowing the story behind or the reality, I know that I might be just one of them when I looked to another person's mistakes.

Another thing is, God is so superior, of course we admit that and we sing about that but when a situation came, do we usually stick back to what we believe? Whether good things or bad things happen, God is always in control. There's a funny quote on fb that says, God might have 3 kinds of answers to your prayer, 1. Yes. 2. Not Yet. 3. I have better in my mind.

So, whether it's sickness or failure or trauma or tragedy......or let us quote back from Paul...

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.- Romans 8

And bad things will happen to good people. So, reality is odd and it's not of what you can expect. You don't expect Christians to be rich, healthy and not dying. In fact, Christians have to die everyday, to their sins.

Same to the failure I once had. Friends are somehow sad for what had happened. But Praise the LORD that Father of all loving had turned evil into good.

This came to me when I reached here, And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.- Philippians 4:7

My testimony is much related to the Forgotten God. I'm waiting on Him to make me tell.

PASSION

One thing I didn't like about blogging was often I found my posts at different time were contradicting. This was actually bothering me for quite some time where I decided to give up blogging for readers would find me a rather unstable person. My stands were not stable.

End up, I discovered that this is actually a good thing, it means that I am constantly growing and changing my perspectives.

Or to say, if I am willing to be committed to this relationship with God, He will constantly bring me from one place to another place, like a teacher, teaching His daughter new things everyday.

If we tried to act smart, we would remain in the same place and God wouldn't move. Because at the time we felt so proud about what we knew, it was hard for us to accept something that would freak us out yet that is supernaturally true.

This is why Jesus said, '“I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. ²⁶ Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do..." -Matthew 11:25

I used to be so sensitive to people around that I chose to be silent rather than saying something wrong. I chose to give up blogging because I dare not to have any defect in my writing. I was so indecisive in making choice for fearing any choice would be a regret. I hardly cracked a joke as I was afraid that the situation would turn silent rather than to laughter.

After all I found these were unhealthy feeling.

Believe it or not, life's worth making mistakes. If we seek to be perfect in all things, this is not a life anymore.

Just as if we seek to be smiling all days but prohibiting ourselves from crying and feeling angry, then we are not human anymore.

Live life and live with passion.

If we are not passionate at all about what we are going to do but instead always stick to low-risk choices that would make us sound and safe, then you are BORING!

Don't weigh the benefits and harmful effects when we are doing things.

Do the things we love, Love the things we do!

Be BOLD, Be PASSIONATE, Be THANKFUL, Be LOVING!

His Grace is sufficient for us after all.

PASSION IN ANCIENT GREEK MEANS TO SUFFER!

So, are you ready?

inside the water...

(Today, I awkwardly put on swim suit for the first time of my life and together with my gut, I soaked myself into the water...)

The feeling being inside the water is so different......

As I (I was taught to) took a deep breath using my mouth(hooo) and immersed my head into the water, I see a different world, a different dimension(through my goggle), with the light shine into the water(I only get to see this a lot in movies) and that is so beautiful...

Instant peace came when the voice from the outside world is filtered...

(They told me to relax)

And so I let go everything...I wasn't using any force...and then amazingly, I felt a force was lifting me up...and I was floating...I was floating...

This made me to come to think of God...

God asked us to let go every burdens and took up His yoke. But how many of us has actually listened?

When we are trying to depend on ourselves, just like for the first time before I was taught, I tried to kick my legs so that my body could float, but I couldn't and I sank and then I started to be panic...

When I tried for the second time, and for this time, I was completely surrendered to the water, letting the flow to bring me where to be, and surprisingly I found myself being lifted up...

And that is just so peaceful, when I finally let go...and I managed to see another dimension of things through the water, like which the problems we often made big by our own pessimism...

The feeling inside the water is so good, now I know why Bethany Hamilton would love the water so much...

just wanna end with Psalm 131 here...

Psalm 131

A song of ascents. Of David.

¹ My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
² But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.

³ Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.

Man looks at the outward appearance

It had been a long vacation away from my blog. But I really feel like sharing this as I think it is something worth to be pondered.

Just now as I laid on my bed and prepared to hibernate, a verse came across my mind.

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

This is from 1st Samuel 16:7.

I felt guilty when I thought of it as I really had to admit that yea, sometimes or maybe all the time, I was looking at the outward appearance.

Only LORD looks at the heart.

So, my mind began to search for people whom I might have mistreated just because I looked at their appearances instead of their hearts.

Surprisingly, yes, I found a few. More surprisingly, their hearts are not attractive as well. and worst, their attitudes could be putting your patience into test.

So, this came to my mind. I found that TV is cheating us all the time. They liked to make up story where the pretty one always come to bully the outwardly not attractive one. Those who are not beautiful outwardly are always beautiful inwardly. But no, not really applicable.

In fact, they are worst. And I found that I can explain this for them. Self-pity and jealousy. 'Why am I not smart enough, pretty enough, handsome enough, fast enough?' 'Why am I always the last?' 'Why is he getting the good things all the time?'

So, horribly, this turn to rage after a long period of time. People curse. 'Hopefully she won't make it this time.' Or gossip...'This guy looks handsome but actually I found that he doesn't shower.' etc, etc, etc......

Can you see that? Can you see what comes out when people simply think they are not good enough?

So, why would we always find we are not good enough? Why would these people being so miserable? Do they deserve to be self-pity, to curse?

NO.

Because again, the LORD looks at the heart. If you measure by what the LORD sees and not by what people sees, you can't be burdened at all.

Or to say, you can't be bothered.

Imagine that the LORD is looking at our hearts and He found all these wicked ways in us, how awkward He would be if He were to act like us? But GOD is GOD, Hallelujah!

We felt awkward being with people who appeared not cute enough for us. Don't you think Jesus feel awkward as well when you behaved in such a way, claiming yourself as His follower?

and Praise the LORD, when He looked at all these wicked ways, for He so loved the world, He gave His One and Only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have an everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Even tough the LORD looks at the heart, He still forgave for what we contained.

I guess for people, we would celebrate when the person who were annoying to us had perished.

In my own understanding, people who do not have God bear self-pity often. This includes those who believe in God but doesn't put God in the first place of their lives or maybe even out of their Top Ten lists.

Self-pity shows that you do not appreciate who you are(as a child of God) or what you have(what God would provide you).

When we don't look to God, often we forget who we are and what we have in Him.

When we acknowledged Jesus is the LORD of our lives, all these things such as, 'Why she is always the one who receives attention? Why he is popular among the girls? Why is he so good in studies? Why she can have a Platinum credit card for shopping?'

All these things do not bother us anymore when we know that Jesus is with us. He is more than all these things.

Let me quote from Jake Hamilton's 'Freedom Calling' here,

"What have I to lose, if all I have is You

What I have to give, that wasn't given
I know that You have set me free, and freedom's never free
King of Glory, have Your way in me"

You might wonder what about those who are born rich, handsome, pretty...I mean, come on, they worry more as they are always striving to be the best among the best since the best is still not the best. And those who seems to be rich in resources, I started feeling pity for them, cuz their lives would be so poor. Their view is limited to one side of the world, the good things, pretty things, expensive things......

Sometimes, my life can be motivated by the desire to glorify God.

But, I found I must look to Jesus again. Cuz when I'm trying to use the world to glorify God, God doesn't like it. He owns the world. He doesn't need us to provide Him good grade, high ranking or bla bla bla...whatever in our minds.

He doesn't want us to try to glorify His name in our own way but in His way.

Things we always think to be for His glory often are not.

If I was to achieve something by competing, by being selfish, by refusing people,

then I gained what I wanted,

People would think that I am good, but they would never trust that the all-loving God is with me.

So, I guess that comes back to what Jake Hamilton said again,

'King of Glory, have Your way in me'.