15 years ago, if you happened to walk past a painted blue terrace house with a beautiful garden at the front yard and you heard a loud classical orchestra playing, you stopped by and looked into the house, seeing a 8-year-old girl you thought she would be, who was actually only five, closed her eyes and moved her hands in the air passionately as if she was the conductor and she ruled the flow, that would be me. You felt amused when the small hand pointed to one direction, softly, indicating that the music to be slow and low. What a gentle girl the family have, you think, but not at all!!
In fact, I was a headache which made the reason why I grew up basking in love from Grandpa and Grandma. My own parents felt it was a must to separate this mischievous fellow from the rest of their children who were still small and vulnerable to non-stopping prank. And starting a life with grandparents were nothing different. In fact my Grandma was just at her 40s to look after me. Every morning I would wake up at five, watching Grandpa puffing on his cigarette at the front yard and it was so silent that if you listened carefully, you would hear the sound of train passing by though the railway station was so far away. Then, here came the school bus of students, making noise still in the morning, I was so excited to see people going to school that I would shout whatever came to my mind. After that, three of us would be heading to the morning market for breakfast regularly. And at night, I must not skip the Japanese army invading the fish village bedtime stories by Grandma before I shut myself down to dream and reverie. She even spoke to me the Teochew tongue twister to make me sleep. Until today, I still remembered the lines.
Practically, I didn't trap myself up at home with Barbie dress up or cooking games. Instead, my playmates were all boys! They didn't discriminate me but only to exclude me whenever they peed at the drain. We had a lot of fun together. There was a season where we were all addicted to catching frog. Every single day, you would find me with one hand holding a mineral bottle and another hand grabbing the rusty fence, seeking after my preys in a drain. I couldn't tell why we were all so proud of it especially when we scored the highest hunting results of the day. Putting a milo tin cover over two bricks and by placing a lighted candle between the bricks, here we went, cooking the tadpoles and then ate them! It sounded disgusting and yes, we did it!
Unlike other children, I was stubborn, disliked asking questions but to figure out things myself. Once I tried to make a kite myself, record the TV programme down to the video tape and most dangerously, learn the function of each button of my uncle's hi-fi system. My uncle never let anyone to put a single finger on his hi-fi baby and that was challenging to break the rule. At the same time, after putting some effort, I proudly used my chopsticks in front of my peers who were still holding forks. It was a life with finding solutions.
Not forget to mention, I had quick temper as a little girl. I remembered an old woman who scolded me when I simply touched the eggs at her grocery store. As a feedback, I smashed her egg to the floor right in front her eyes. Of course, Grandma had to pay for it and hear all the curses coming out from the Tauke Neo. Since then, Grandma refused to buy from the store. Another time was, when I was trying to sleep, the foreign workers started their night life again by playing radio loudly. I ruined their party by opening my window and shouted, 'Diam-diam la!!! [Quiet!!!]'. According to mother, I sounded like an adult and the music was off soon after my warning.
Being a child was fun, but I realised it was time to grow up the moment I moved back to stay with Mom and Dad and became the eldest of the four. Still, I wasn't as mature as they expected at my age. Staying with siblings was another type of joy after waving goodbye to my buddies. I was 9 or so when I came to this unfamiliar family. But we had grown up together, planting green peas, rearing koi, watching Power Puff Girls, playing SUPER MARIO BROS, having fight, everything we did it together. We even created our own language that the parents couldn't understand when we talked. Three of them often made me their leader, we were like Teen Titans.
Ah, almost forget Coco. Coco was my dog and my best friend ever. He was not any pedigree that I went to pick up from a Dog House. But we met at an extraordinary evening, where a stray puppy was looking at me innocently, pleading some mercies and food. Then, we became awesome partner together, in the mission to attack all the cats in the back alley. Whenever I whistled, Coco would follow me, behind my bicycle. We traveled the town together everyday, after school. At night, he would sleep at our front yard, guarding our house. Coco felt like a guardian angel to me. He came to my life the time I was having difficult time. He cheered me up and kept my company. But one day he just disappeared. Maybe he left after seeing me growing up.
I never thought of being doctor. As a child, I dreamed of being an Orchestra conductor, a film director or a writer. Frankly, it was my brother who became illed and motivated me. I rememberd at Matriculation, I failed to apply Biology but I enjoyed the Physics course very much. I thought I was going to be an engineer or a geologist. My roommate even bragged about her father who being a doctor. I thought I would never have a chance as a Physics student. But God work His miracle in me. After some long story, I ended up here.
Looking back at my life, I feel it would be a waste if I stop living for today. Many little details that flashed through my mind reminded me how precious a life is. I shouldn't be bothered with some small failures that blocked my vision. I knew it was a tough competition here. Rather comparing myself with others, I feel living for God is more important. I do not know any philosophy or how to forcefully boost the optimism inside me. But once I know every step I'm taking is watching by Him, I am grateful enough to keep holding on. Knowing that He is my greatest motivation, I guess my life does not end here but with more surprise to come, as long as I am willing to.
