Christian's Love for Friend?

How does a friend love another friend? To be honest, I was actually stuck with this idea for quite a few years. Because I would like to think about it in a Christian’s perspective. And it seems that I can’t find the appropriate answer even though I had my own speculation. And it’s somehow amazing that as I went to bed just now, somehow there is an answer lingering at the edge of my mind and whispering to me and making me wanting to wake up and here I am, writing it down.

A more accurate title, how does a Christian love a friend? First, I had doubts for years because I see different ways of showing love by different people. And I couldn't help but to feel uneasy with some of the action. It actually broke my heart to see people compromise God for friend. They had put friend prior to God. And the reason they gave me is that it could be one of the ways to bring their friends to God? Examples, people chose to attend a friend’s event rather than going to worship God, people agreed with things that friend said or done which were actually hated by God and people are tolerable with small sins such as signing attendance for friend after being asked to.

One thing I need to explain here. If you love your friend more than God, chances are this love is going to fade anytime. This is because this love might have been based on something, like values. So if this friend can’t maintain the standard of the values you had for him/her, this love is going to end anytime soon. Why, because you can’t love if you didn’t love God. We love because God first loves us and God is love. So if we are far away from God(Love), how can we possibly be able to love? Sounds logic to me.

         

Christians are not anti-social freaks. Jesus had friends too, in fact He wept the moment His best friend, Lazarus died and He had dinner with Matthew who is a tax collector where no one wants to make friend with. And His love for all these friends including you and me is genuine that this verse had been proven by His sacrifice on cross for our sins: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends”. 

But do we treat our friends in such a way that we had become the salt and the light to them? Or do our actions pointed people to a darker way, to a journey where God is better off, where God is not important in our lives so do in theirs?

Let us ponder over this tonight to see if any words we had spoken or actions we had taken that actually representing Jesus Christ badly, more importantly if these words and actions had actually broken our Father’s heart. As I was writing this down, I was reflecting it on myself too.

Ask this question again, do we love our friends? If it is so, what can be more important than introducing Jesus Christ to them? (I know it needs time)

Ask this rather more important question again, do we love God? If it is so, what can be more important than bringing yourself to Him first before you try to bring anyone else to Him?

If you do not think of God as love, ask again, what brings you to church in the first place? Is it a Sunday’s routine? Is it because you are born in a Christian’s family? Is it because it seems to be cheerful and merry to sing songs in church? Anyway, I was simply guessing.

But I do hope we all know the reason why we came. It is the most exciting moment ever when it comes to worship God and it would be absurd if any of us chooses other things over this.

So do invite, invite them in a way that they come because they see Jesus Christ in you, not that it’s just another way to please a friend.

聆听

好久没写了，特别想在这个时候写下这个感觉。我在这一刻有感而发。在我的人生经历当中（虽然只是区区的二十年）我得到了一个结论（so far）。

这个结论就是，

【唯有上帝才是最了解你和我】。

误会是在人际关系中常见的。甚至，我们有可能会误会我们自己。上帝创造我们是看为美丽的，但我们误以为自己是丑陋的。每一天世界都不断的在教导我们。从小大人口中，学校和媒体以帮我们列出了一系列可以让我们自我感觉良好的人生目标，“我要成为最棒的，最有型的，最有气质的，最有时尚品味的，。。。” 但是，我们发觉“人比人，气死人”，这种竞争好像是无止境的，而这种【想要成为最好的】虚空好像永远无法被满足。

没有人能够比上帝更加了解我们。如果，我们能够以上帝的眼睛来看我们自己，就好像大卫说的，“我受造奇妙可畏，。。。”的话，那么我想世界上再也没有我们不能够做得到的事，至少你再也不会让别人包括你至亲的人告诉你，你不能做什么。这就是为什么我想Nick Vujicic，一位天生没有手脚却信靠主的人，可以得出这样一个结论，那就是，Limitless（无限制）。而这种“无限制”只能够发生在愿意转移目标的人，而这个新目标正是我们被造的目的，（准备好了吗？），那就是，【为主的荣耀而活】。

为什么上帝不愿意我们论断自己的弟兄姐妹呢？因为我们没有真正的了解他们。其实，我们根本没有这个能力。试问谁能够进入到另一个人的心而体会到他的感受呢？就算是体会到了，有谁能够放弃可以控告另一个人的机会呢？唯有爱我们的神，藉着耶稣基督为我们的牺牲，才能够不计较我们的过犯。所以若你看到一位弟兄或姐妹，他的行为让你觉得不舒服，我想告诉你，不要这么快下定论，因为你不知道在他心里的痛苦，挣扎，纠结。。。。。。上帝感受到了，而他最盼望的是，不是我们走上前去控告，丢石头，重演法利赛人的那一幕，而是去聆听。

所以，今天我真正要讲的是聆听。（终于进入正题）

聆听是一件很奇妙的经历。不是每一个人都愿意来找你聆听他们的故事的。所以你要珍惜这种千载难逢的机会。

我相信聆听是一门很难的学问。因为当人家还没说到两句，你可能已经接上十句了。

聆听的功课是上帝让我看到的一件神迹。我不是说那种让你惊讶不已，超乎自然的神迹。我称这为神迹，是因为通过此事，我的人生观又再一次的改变。

我发现到当我们自以为是的时候，我们很难去聆听。所以我们靠着别人的说长话短，某某人的打扮，衣着，家庭，背景，成绩，行为先入为主的去认识一个人。所以那个人在我们的脑海里已有某些我们自己写下的特征。

但是如果你选择聆听，选择不理别人的批判，选择自己尝试来认识他/她，这个世界就会少了许多误会造成而挽回不了的遗憾。

我发觉通过聆听，我眼前的人已不是我想象中的人。尤其是在弟兄姐妹当中，若我们愿意花时间去真正了解每一个人，我们可能很快的就能够很合拍的去做神的工。

我记得，有人教过我，面对外人时要说七分话，三分留给自己，不知道你有听过否？这宛如是一种很有智慧的人生道理。但是我告诉你，在这一刻如果你有神与你同在的话，你就没有什么好失去的（Nothing to Lose）。一个跟你第一次说话的人，可以从此就把你当成知己，那是因为他感觉得到你在说话的时候，你将你的心掏了出来。

所以，特蕾莎修女有一句说的是，“诚实和坦率使你容易受到欺骗和伤害，不管怎样，还是要诚实与坦率。” 小孩之所以看起来像天使，特别容易亲近，对我们没有威胁性，是因为他们“真”。

有一部电影，叫做《The Blind Side》，白人妇女坐下来聆听了一个黑人男孩的心声，之后她在没有计较种族分别的情况下，收养了这个家庭有问题的男孩，给了男孩一个正常，健康的家庭，也改写了他的一生。而这部电影所拍的是一个真实故事。我相信上帝会赐给我们智慧去行他在我们心里所号召要去实行的事。没有什么比让上帝做我们的导航者来得更有趣的人生了。

p.s聆听这种过程是勉强不来的，不是说我叫你“Listen, Listen, Listen”，你就会聆听。

回家

父亲牵着女儿的手，说，“走，我们回家吧!"

在路上，她翩翩起舞。