Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done

After shower, I looked at myself in the mirror, combing my hair while starting the self-admiring. I preferred the hair colour in wet condition, less striking. Narcissism took over.

And then I discovered, lots of black hair were growing, hiding beneath the golden field. In one month time, the dying effect ceased.

I wasn't disappointed. Instead, I bowed down my head and prayed.

A sudden thought made me to declare to God instantly, "Father Lord, forgive my boldness and rebellion that I once dyed my hair not for beauty, not for fun, not for any good intention but just to show that I can go against You. Forgive me Lord, and thank You that You remained faithful to me, remained keeping my hair growing out healthily. I shall appreciate the way You created me and the time You had chosen me to know You. This would be the last time I dyed my hair. In Jesus's holy name I pray, Amen!"

For many times, I couldn't answer the reason I dyed my hair to other people. Now, you know. It was the anguish of my spirit to God. The striking golden hair could have tell a lot of things.

What had knocked me was, "What if my hair stops growing or not growing in black anymore or my hair is falling off?" But God does not punish me after I have chosen to against Him, telling Him that I can change the way He made me. He made me to learn through the process. He never leaves nor forsakes me, like He had promised in the Scripture.

What if?

We can have thousands of 'what if' or even billions of this wondering in a day.

But when you walked throughout your life, you would realize how amazing it is the way God keeps your life in order, just by approving some of the 'what if's and disapproving others. You might jump and yell in disbelief when you see the miraculous outcomes. But most of time, when you go through the process, you might be as frustrated as the Jews who were sent out in the wilderness once, complaining the bad taste of manna to God, unwilling to move on.

The easiest part which makes the hardest, you just have to wait for His time! To me, the faith we are holding on comes with believing that only God knows what is the best for us and He restores the best for us. Faith without deeds is dead, just like when you refuse to wait.

Yet, God approves us not for we are faithful but He is omnibenevolent.

Psalm 37:4 stated clearly,

"Take delight in the LORD,
and He will give you the desires of your heart."

So, instead of wondering if He gave you the desires of your heart, have you been wondered if you take delight in Him or materials in the world?

Eh, one more thing, the warmest message I ever gotten from all of the videos shown by Pearl at KBBC today would be [God does not need you to run fastest in the race, but to finish it and win the prize].

I used to wonder for many things I could have done. I bet you did the same. But we don't have to be good at everything as that is not our goal!

1 Cor 9:24-25, "In a race all the runners take part in it, but only one of them wins the prize. Run, then, in such a way as to win the prize. Every athlete in training submits to strict discipline; he does so in order to be crowned with a wreath that will not last; but we do it for one that will last forever."

And the right race would be,

Acts 20:24 ...I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

A quote that might motivate you here,

"Everything I'm not make everything I am!" =)

Last but not least,

*“I Shall Not Die, But LIVE, and Declare the Works of the LORD” Psalm 118:17*