I was alone in my room, painting again.
I locked the door from Ellie. Ellie was aware of my intended avoid for these last three months. Maybe it was the easiest way to show her that I was almost a grown up and I didn’t need any prayer and goodnight kiss on forehead. Surprisingly, she wasn’t protesting. Rather, she would knock at the door softly and said, ‘Honey, are you okay?’
For the sake of peace, I would give an immediate respond to tell her that I am fine in a convincing tone. Other wise, she was going to screw off the whole door just to make sure that she could see me looking back at her, jaws dropped while doing my paint mixing. And then she would stare at me guiltlessly and said, ‘I thought something was happening to you.’ What a nice curse! And it happened though. Once, so far.
If I was okay in my words, she would reply the same sentence every night, ‘Remember not to stay up too late.’
Sometimes I wondered why she didn’t think of recording her voice and playing it on time. It saved time and energy and served as a backup whenever she needed to attend for wedding dinner or celebration of freedom after divorce by her BFFs.
I guessed it was the accident six years ago that turned on her extra and excessive attention on me. But I was not comfortable with it. Somehow I felt it was her conspiracy to mould me into a spoil brat.
I was no wrong shutting away from her. I assumed myself as a family guy in the future. But I couldn’t let an obsessional mother to check out on me every night since I was about to be 16 in a few more months to go.
Please let me go, Ellie, your boy is growing up to man!
Otherwise, if this was to be spread at school, Hunter and his minions would be laughing till death or less dramatically, spamming my Facebook wall for this whole summer. Other school kids would look at me like I am a weirdo. Worst, what would she think of me? I dare not to imagine about that. ‘Shoo, shoo…….,’ I talked to my mind, chasing away the subtle conception.
As soon as Ellie’s stiletto heels dissipated away, I turned away from looking at the door knob which might possibly be opened. I took up the paint brush and put some golden yellow to illustrate the paddy field I had seen after I was back from a trip.
I tried to paint the blue sky but I just couldn’t help myself to stare at my Blackberry on the desk. It was silent dead like the previous years with other phone models. No matter how good the function is for the tool, I never get to grab it on hands like any other teens. And I found it difficult to pretend to be busy like others, when I was to reply to no message!
Ellie would text me everyday at school and that was the moment where I grabbed the chance to run my fingers on the keypad proudly during class until I was caught on with a detention where Mr. Watson read out Ellie’s message loudly, ‘How’s your diarrhoea?’The biggest joke ever happened to me had caused Hunter into trouble where he hit his head and hurt so badly in attempt to stop laughing.
If you were to question about the grief-stricken lone ranger life I had, let me explained about it a little bit more physically. I was a fat guy with a bloated tummy. There was hardly any shape on me. My face was round with an old man glasses stuck on my nose and stubble that was not sexy at all. It grew very fast that my electric clippers had to surrender. I had some hair loss and my hair was oily. I doubted that it was congenital but Ellie just didn’t want to talk about my father. My father was dead in the army long time ago. But it was not very proud to say that he had died of falling down from a helicopter instead of fighting the enemy in the first line. Ellie even told me the military was so realistic that they didn’t even attend my father’s funeral and there was no flag on top of the coffin like I had seen in the TV.
I was not very sad about father’s death. Deep down inside, I desired to see him yet felt ashamed of myself. Looking at his picture, I knew that he must have been a very good soldier if he was not to die. He was very fit and good looking and stronger than any muscular kids in my school. Maybe this explained why Ellie was not seeing any new person. But Ellie argued that she wanted to stay and take care of me. Sometimes I wished father was there to teach me how to train my body or play basketball with me. I loved basketball but I was afraid to walk in any basketball court as it would be miracle of the whole world where it would become another teaser for Hunter.
Today was Friday! The day I hated the most but Ellie often bribed me to go to school with a piece of Chocolate Indulgence. It is a day where we have fitness class. I wondered why there was such a class in the system. When they are holding fitness class, they should really consider people who are not fit!
Reluctantly I got on Ellie’s car. Somehow, I think one piece of Chocolate Indulgence is not enough!
During the class, Mr. Hoffman excitedly announced that we are playing hockey today. Great! I would be the one who stand at the edge of field again and make no difference than a spectator apart from having a hockey stick on my hand. Sometimes, I would get hit by the hockey when it purposely or not rolled towards me and you could imagine the excruciating pain when all the hockey sticks hit together on your leg just to grab the damn puck!
Mr. Hoffman knew I was not playing after all. But he loved to hand me the stick every time and said with his watery eyes, ‘Why don’t you just give a shot?’ I was actually not touched by it at all. But I was telling myself too, ‘Why don’t I just give a shot?’ However, looking at my figure, I wouldn’t dare to picture a guy running with fat and sweat around the hockey field. It would make a girl to vomit the salad she ate this morning. I would vomit my Chocolate Indulgence as well.
But today Mr. Hoffman was so weird that he grabbed my shoulder and said, ‘Boy, small attitude can make big difference!’ Somehow I was annoyed by him being not giving up on me. Why didn’t he value the situation here? He couldn’t just think miracle happened every time he took a gulp of his root beer.
To ease his feeling, I volunteered to be the goal keeper. This is the greatest sacrifice I could offer. As far as I know, goal keeper is always the most dangerous position in a game yet the most leisure one. I only need to move around the rectangle box they had drawn.
Now everyone was ready. Mr. Hoffman took a look at me and then blew his whistle, commanding the game to start.
The kids were competing for the puck as if tigers fighting each other for a poor piece of rat meat. The opposite team was weaker and couldn’t make it any near to me. Most of the time, they were struggling at the opposite goal.
Today is a windy day. The sunlight is warm. It was just tranquilising when the breeze was blocked by me on their way. Well, Friday isn’t really a bad day.
While I was distracted by the beauty of nature, a guy yelled at me, ‘Stand by, goal keeper!’ I didn’t how they had made it here. Now they were nearer to the goal. The team leader was trying his best to stop them from coming any nearer to me. He was the best athlete in school this year. He was not proud at all like Hunter. But he gave a subtle smile when Mr. Hoffman assigned me to his team. He was a quiet guy in the class but became aggressive when he came down to field.
Players surrounded the goal now. It was as if I had booked the whole team to protect me from a puck.
I was as nervous as them. Because I hated the way people looked at me as if I let them down. Most of the time was, I couldn’t do what as expected by people. So, no matter how, I couldn’t let the puck to slip into my goal. But it was difficult though and disappointing every time.
Now, I was fully focused on the puck which fleeted around like the Golden Snitch in Quidditch of Harry Potter. My eyes followed the puck until it was hit right away towards me or to say towards the goal!
I remembered I stretched out my stick to block the puck but at the same time I felt a pain on my stomach. And there was an abrupt darkness that consumed everything before me.
I passed out while dozens of questions piled up in my mind.
Could it be the puck? Then what was the thing I blocked right away? Maybe I was imagining that I managed to block the puck but I didn’t? What if I was hit by the opposite team with his hockey stick? Mr. Hoffman would sure imprison the fellow in the storeroom. What if Harry Potter really exists and the Golden Snitch accidentally came to this real world and hit me?
I woke up in the hospital. A nurse saw me and yelled at the doctor. She gave me an anxious look which made me feeling uneasy. I had always seen that look in ER. Could it be they had made a big hole in my stomach now? Yet I was not daring to unveil the truth below the blanket.
The doctor who came over was a good-looking Asian. He smiled to me with his shiny white teeth. And the spectacles he wore gave him a sense of professionalism and confidence.
“Good morning, Mr. Harrow. This is Doctor Tee. I’m glad that you are awake. I had read your file. You had cardiac problem so you should be careful while playing sport,” Doctor Tee talked gently while trying to hear something from my chest with his stethoscope.
I always knew that I had heart problem and high blood pressure. This happened to very few young people, preferably on the fat people.
“Doctor Tee, I thought I was admitted because there was something that hit my stomach. Is it a puck?” I asked when out of sudden, this question that had been long waiting came to my mind.
Before Dr. Tee could answer me, Ellie ran into the ward with her stiletto heels and asked in a hurry, “Baby, are you okay?”
Before I could answer her, she dragged Dr. Tee away from me to a corner and her gestures showed that she was complaining. I was left with the nurse which no more showing the ER scene facial expression. But she was shocked enough with her jaws dropped looking at Ellie. I was embarrassed.
Now that I was conscious enough to look around, I saw the patients walking around differently and somehow uncontrollably. They looked like they are……
Now I realised that I was admitted to a psychiatric ward! What else bad enough that could happen to me? I wish that this would not be found out by one of the kid and spread like wild fire in Facebook. Now without trying to eavesdrop, I knew what Ellie was going to tell Dr. Tee. They had sent me to the wrong ward!
Could it be that I was murmuring something about the Golden Snitch in Harry Potter while I was unconscious? This might have made them to get things wrongly.
While Ellie was busy quarrelling with Doctor Tee, a girl came in and walked towards me.
“I’m really sorry that I hit you, Sir,’ the girl bowed her head before me.
I looked at her shockingly. She was a young girl, about my age, long beautiful blonde and a pair of talking blue eyes. I had never seen such pretty girl before in my life and neither there was any female who wanted to say anything to me except Ellie and some old women relatives.
She had called me ‘Sir’. She must have thought that I was old enough with the stubble. This was the only unhappy part of it.
“Who are you? Why are you saying sorry for?” I asked with puzzles in my mind.
“I heard about your story, no, I mean, it was me who hit the ball on your tummy, ACCIDENTALLY,” the girl looked doubtful upon explaining.
“So it was a?”
“Baseball! I was new in your school. I just came today and I never knew that I would cause such trouble,” the girl looked very guilty now.
“Miss?”
“Nathalie,” she said and shook my hand.
“Miss Nathalie, do you know I am just about the same age as you? This stubble on my face was just an unusual growth. I know they are ugly but I am not old enough for you to call me ‘Sir’.”
“Oh I see. Yes, I shouldn’t. No, I mean, the stubble is not ugly. They are sexy. They looked great on you,” she said and smiled to me.
Seriously, this was the biggest joke I had ever heard. She must be one of the psychiatric patients who walked randomly to every bed to make jokes. I felt angry yet pitiful for such a beautiful girl to be crazy.
“What is your name?” she asked to break the silence.
“My name is Harry Harrow. You can call me Harry,” I replied with a smile.
Nathalie burst out laughing.
I knew why and I was used to it. People always made fun of my name. Hunter actually called me Hairy Harrow.
“Yea, it’s funny. Your apology is accepted. You can leave now,” I responded reluctantly. But my heart wished that she could stay.
“No, I am sorry. Your name is special. Harry Harrow. Sounds like a nursery rhyme.”
“You mean Humpty Dumpty?”
“Exactly!”
I was speechless though.
She was really different from other girls in school. I thought girls were all brandy, trendy, eyed for handsome guy and anorexic. They hardly made jokes and they loved rolling their eyes whenever I had blocked their way.
Ellie came back to me and said, “I am sorry, baby. They shouldn’t treat you like that.”
“Hi, Mrs. Harrow. I am Harry’s schoolmate,” Nathalie greeted Ellie.
But Ellie left quickly for hospital procedure.
“She’s your wife?” Nathalie asked.
“Not funny at all! She’s my mother.”
“Wow, cool!”
I wondered what is so cool about having Ellie as my mother. Is it because of her stiletto heels that are making noise for every step she has taken?
Nathalie and I had spent the whole day together talking about a lot of things. I told her everything about my father, his life as in the army and his journey in South Korea, Vietnam and Iraq. I was basically telling her my father’s whole life since I thought people would never have interest on mine. She was so excited about all those stories in war. There was a guy that named Hunter that saved my father’s life once. However, the Hunter I known in my life was always a rowdy. Nathalie told me about her life too. She travelled around the country with her father after her mother passed away. Therefore, she transferred school all the time. Nevertheless, she seized the chance to know different place, culture and people.
Ellie came back from work and she brought some supper. “I shouldn’t let you to have the Chocolate Indulgence,” she was blaming herself.
I ignored her mountains of complaints and searched for food in the paper bag she brought.
Salad and plain water?! That was so disappointing. Nathalie was laughing.
I was actually hit by the baseball. But I fainted because of my heart problem, at 16. That shouldn’t really happen.
Ellie went to find Dr. Tee again.
I felt sleepy after talking for the whole day and I saw Nathalie smiling at me.
“What is so funny?” I asked.
“Is your mother gone?” she asked softly.
“Yes, she went to see Dr. Tee. I think you should get back home. Your father would be worried about you.”
“He never worried about me. He was too caught up with his work.”
Nathalie approached me and whispered to my ear, “Do not tell anyone about this. I am actually a vampire.”
“What is this? Twilight?!” I shouted for being amused.
I thought she was either a real vampire or a real patient from this ward.
“Boom!!!”
Nathalie had scared the shit out of me!
“I was only trying to scare you,” she was laughing. I thought the prank had made her day.
“By the way……,” she said in a flirting manner.
I held myself from laughing for seeing the flirting awkwardly shown on her innocent angelic face.
“I like you!” Nathalie kissed me on my cheeks!
Then she ran away. Seeing her running and disappeared away from the ward, I was frozen. For the first time, I could feel the extremely fast heart rate beating within me, blood rushed through my face and I was blushing! Is this what we called love?!
Strangely, deep down inside me, I could feel that I had this kind of feeling before. Nathalie, Nathalie, who are you? It would be miracle for me that a girl that met me for the first time had just kissed me and miracle happened!
I was admitted out of hospital after one week of observation. Nathalie came for visit everyday but she would hide herself away whenever Ellie was here. I was thrilled for this secret love because I was not prepared to let Ellie know by the way.
Nathalie became my only company at school. She skipped her classes to join me. We ate meals together and we went to cinema, the beach and the lake house together. Whenever she saw me, she would run quickly towards me, jump on me, threw her arms around my neck and we kissed. We were madly in love! She was like a gift in my life.
However, these wonderful days didn’t last.
The movie ‘Sucker Punch’ was out. Nathalie and I had agreed to watch the midnight show. I pretended to sleep early today when Ellie checked on me. As her stiletto heels clicking down to her room, I opened up the window and sneaked out from my house.
I knew I was not going to make it in the olden days with my weight and fat. But I was doing for Nathalie. And the power of love had made a fat guy to climb down from his window on the second floor. I was excited for another date. I never expected I would date people at this early age.
I met Nathalie up who was long waited across the street. And as usual, she jumped on me and pressed her lips on mine. We kissed a bit longer this time.
We walked together to the cinema. But I sensed that Nathalie was not in a good mood. She was hiding something from me.
“Nathalie dear, what had happened?”
“Harry, I’m afraid that I’m leaving you soon.”
“Why? I will never let you go! Is it because of your father, he is travelling again?”
Nathalie shook her head.
“Hunter found out about us and made fun of it? Oh I knew it! Is it because of me that you couldn’t accept a fat guy as your boyfriend?!”
I was completely upset as if the whole world had fallen on me. I put my hand in my pocket and squeezed the tickets.
All Nathalie did is shaking her head.
“I will never let you go!” I grabbed Nathalie’s hands and dragged her to the cinema.
A car came out of nowhere and hit Nathalie.
It crashed through Nathalie and all I saw were flesh and blood on the road. I couldn’t help but to vomit after seeing Nathalie lying down on the road with blood. I was crying and yelling to the public.
“Someone call the ambulance please! This girl is hurt! Please! Please! Please!”
An ambulance came over and stopped at the scene.
Two big and tall guys in pure white uniform came over.
“Please save her! She’s hurt!”
But they ignored Nathalie.
Instead they snatched my hands. I could feel my arms almost broken and the pain in my bone.
“Let me go! Let me go! What are you trying to do? You should save her!!!”
In panic, I saw one of the guys took out a needle from his pocket and inserted it to my neck.
This was a conspiracy!!!
You two had killed Nathalie!!!
Who had sent you all? Hunter?!
I woke up in a hospital again. In dizziness, I heard the hustle and bustle of people’s footsteps. There were minor whispers and phone ringing from distance.
And I saw Hunter!
He was sitting next to my bed and reading his stupid Seventeen.
I knew it was him. He was the one who planned all this!
I tried to get up and punch him but I realized that I was tied tighten with cuff on my hands.
“Someone catch this murderer!!!” I shouted.
Hunter was as relaxing as he could.
“You are awake!” he said and went to get a cup of water for me.
“I was confused.” I said.
Hunter opened up a photo album.
“I wished this could help.”
He showed me the photos inside. Those were old pictures without colour. Most of the pictures were my father wearing army’s uniform, smiling smartly to us.
Then one of the pictures had surprised me! My heart beat even faster and my tongue was tightened.
It was a picture showing a married couple hugging each other and smiled.
The guy was my father and the girl, horribly was Nathalie!!!
“This is you,” Hunter pointed to the guy I thought to be my father.
Then he pointed at Nathalie and said, “This is Ellie.”
“You were no longer 16. You are 60 now. This good-looking and smart soldier was you. And poor Ellie, she was suffering seeing you in this way. You two had married for a long time and now you called her your mother.”
I was not able to completely accept the truth that struck me.
I pointed to another picture, this time in colour, with ‘me’ and a boy sitting on my shoulder.
“If I was to be my father, who was this child?”
“It’s me. I am your son, Hunter. You named me after a friend who had saved your life.”
“Hunter, stop it!!! Your father couldn’t accept so much truth at one time. He must not be told about all this!” Ellie came into view.
Now I discovered Ellie looked like Nathalie, only that she was older.
“I had to tell him, mother! You had schizophrenia after the Vietnam War and all those things that ever happened were only your mere imaginations!!!”
Everything seemed so verisimilitude. I was confused and exhausted.
I felt asleep and went in search of Nathalie in my dream.
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